The Many Oddities of Potter
by lilybethluna
Summary: During her 5th year at Hogwarts, Lily Evans learns just how odd James Potter is, but is odd always a bad thing?
1. Leaky Cauldrons and Love Letters

It was the last week of summer vacation before my fifth year at Hogwarts, and I was staying at the Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley with my best friend, Alice, who had just arrived.

"ALICE!" I yelled excitedly as I spotted her rushing towards me with a huge grin on her face. Alice is a cute, vertically challenged witch with short brown hair and warm brown eyes, and is also the sweetest person on Earth. No joke. I smiled as I gave her a big hug, which was rather difficult because she was holding all of her trunks and the cage where her owl, Smidge, was hooting angrily after he was rudely awakened by my excited shrieking.

"I have so much to tell you," she said, her eyes growing wide. "I-"

"Whoa, Alice. Calm down! Let's go to our room before you start babbling about how much you saw Frank as you were walking from the platform at the end of the school year and fainted when he looked at you for half a second," I said.

Alice's face whitened. "You know about that?"

"Alice, sweetie, everyone knows about that. Come on, let's go to our room already!"

********************************** 10 minutes later*********************************

We were all settled into our room, which was super cozy. Munching on a scone from the tray that Tom the innkeeper had brought up, I sat on the edge of Alice's bed.

"So, what did you do over the summer? I'm sorry I couldn't write, Petunia threatened to find a way to dye my hair *_shudder*_ pink if she ever saw Mouse leave the house." I smiled at my random rhyme.

"Well, after my little, err, _spill,_ my parents decided to take me to the hospital being their overprotective selves, and it's lucky that they did! Turns out that I had a concussion. So the first few weeks of my summer were pretty boring. We went to Ireland in July, though! It was so beautiful there, but I don't think I ever want to eat another potato again…" (I burst out laughing) Alice giggled, then continued. "When we got back, I pretty much stayed home waiting for this week-"

"And dreaming about Frank!" I interrupted. "Shut it!" screamed Alice. "Anyway, what about you? How was the beach? Were you pelted with letters from James oh so many times?"

I stuck my tongue out. "The beach was wonderful, thank you. I was pretty much the only one out there, since Petunia was complaining about the heat and the sand and the breeze and me and stayed inside the whole time. As for Potter, yes, he mercilessly sent me letters covered in love letters. He's such a joke."

Alice smiled that smile of _I-know-something-you-don't-know_, though I don't know why.

"What? Why are you smiling like a demonic cat? It's creeping me out."

"Oh, no reason. No reason at all," Alice said. Grr. She knows how to get on my nerves.

"Okay, lets go downstairs. These scones are _terrible _and I'm starving_._" I said truthfully. So we went downstairs and, to Alice's disgust, I ordered mashed potatoes and some extremely delicious stew. Content and full, we headed back upstairs to our room, just in time to see a two huge owls fly through the window.

"Ooh, those must be our school supply lists!" Alice squealed. They were. But Hogwarts was not the only place we got our letters from. On one note I recognized the handwriting of the one and only James Potter. Groaning, I took it from the owl and they both flew off into the night. I shoved the letter into Alice's hands. Smirking, she tore it open and read:

"_My dearest Lily,_

_Your hair is red _

_My hair is black_

_Peter's is like a hairless cat's_

_My hair is black_

_Your hair is red_

_If you don't reply, I will be dead_

_Love,_

_James _

Alice fell on the floor from laughing so hard. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a sheet of parchment. Alice looked up at me, her eyes growing wide.

"Are you going to write him back? Are all of his letters like that?"

"Yes and yes," I grumbled, fishing around in my bag for a quill. "You should have seen the one I got last week. He wrote a freaking sonnet. Not kidding!"

Alice burst out laughing again. "What are you going to write?"

Plopping down in the big green armchair, I read aloud as I wrote.

"Dear Potter, 'Black' and 'cat's' don't rhyme. Lily."

Alice released a new set of giggles. Her face was so red from laughing that it made me crack up, too. Pretty soon we were lying on the ground clutching our stomachs and laughing like a pair of hyenas who had just eaten about 200 packs of chocolate frogs. We didn't notice the door creak open and when Tom poked his head in and told us we were disturbing the


	2. The Bane of My Existence

Hi. Please don't yell at me. I know I've been horrible at keeping up, but I had an epiphany and it's called To The Beach! (see profile... please read!)... so yeah. A big thanks to jamesandlily4ever, Jensen Kaufman, and ProngsandI! I promise that I will update this one at least twice before I update any other story! Well... maybe...

Hope you like it!

(: Lilybeth Luna

"LILY!"

I had just run through a very special wall and was a little dazed when I heard someone yell my name. I swear, Maureen has the loudest voice in all of Hogwarts, maybe all of England. Rolling my eyes and grinning, I walk over with Alice to the carriage that our friend is waiting in. After hugging and getting settled in our compartment, I ask Maureen about her break.

"Well, darling Lily, I spent the summer doing something so incredibly boring that I found myself wishing I had more homework. Yes, I actually did my homework, Alice! Don't be so alarmed." drawled Maureen comically. Alice looked shocked at the prospect of our friend doing her homework, but I was not so surprised. I mean, if all I was doing was something incredibly boring as Maureen said, doing homework would actually be fun. But that's me for you. I'm a huge dork.

"By the way, Maureen, what was the incredibly boring thing that you were forced to spend the summer doing?" I asked, curious.

"Oh, it's positively the worst - I HAD to babysit twins. Ugh. I can't even bear the sight of chips anymore. Please don't ask why, I'll probably get sick." I flashed a look at Alice, who said,

"Chips? As in the stuff made from potatoes? GAH!" She bent over clutching her stomach. At first I thought she was serious until she looked up at me, smiling. I burst into laughter, and pretty soon we were all howling like maniacs. We probably would have laughed all the way to Hogwarts if a certain someone didn't open the door to our compartment right then.

"Lilykins! I'm so glad I found you! Why, if it wasn't for your dear friend's extremely loud voice, I probably wouldn't have seen you until we got to the great hall," said -you guessed it- James Potter. I stopped laughing and glared at Maureen before turning to look at the bane of my existence. I was startled at how tall he was. I mean, I'd always been vertically challenged, but now he was pretty much a whole head over me. He looked a little shocked, too. I wonder why. I don't look any different than I did last year, so it must have been my expression. I quickly softened it to minimum glare.

"Hello, Potter. Black. Pettigrew. Hi Remus. It's... so nice to see you. Now could you please leave?I'd appreciate it- OW!" Alice had kicked me.

"Why don't you guys sit with us?" she asked. WHAT? Was she serious? Is she TRYING to torture me? Sirius sat right next to Maureen of course, and Peter way too eagerly plopped down by Alice. James was across from me, next to Sirius, and Remus ended up next to me, which I didn't mind. He was definitely the nicest of the four, and, well, he had his... problem. I felt so bad for him, but I wasn't scared or anything. We were going to be prefects together, so Dumbledore told me that he was a werewolf. I smiled at him, and asked him how he was.

"I've been better, but I'm good," he replied, and I believed him. He looked really tired, but not as bad as I've seen him before. James, who had been joking with Sirius, suddenly tired his attention towards us, looking a little scared.

"Moon- I mean, Remus has a... um... has a cold..." he finished lamely. Oh. He doesn't know I know. I sigh and say,

"Potter. Outside." At first, he didn't move, but when he saw me get up, I guess he realized that I wanted to talk to him. When we got outside, he grinned at me.

"Finally admitting your undying love for me, Evans?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Psh. In your dreams, Potter. I just wanted to tell you that I know about Remus and his..." I lower my voice, "condition," I whisper. He kind of freaked out and whisper-screamed at me.

"How did you find out? Did you follow us- I mean him? Why-" I cut him off.

"Shh! Relax, Potter. Dumbledore told me because we're going to be prefects together. Don't worry about it. I just didn't want you to try to keep it from me anymore, because it would be pointless. Besides, you whisper loud enough when you and your friends follow me around at school under your invisibility cloak." With that, I turn around and walk back into the compartment to get Remus for our Prefect meeting, which started in about five minutes. We passed Potter on the way out, who looked very stupid with his mouth hanging wide open.

I will definitely update soon. Please review!


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